Leadership coach and “The Positive Effect” author April Sabral has worked in retail for over three decades. In those three decades, she constantly found herself working on teams that were going through a rough time. Sales were down, something major was happening in the company — whatever life threw at her, Sabral was able to remain positive and create this feeling with her team.

What she learned in reading thousands of exit interviews during her career leading teams of people was that the top reason employees cited they were unhappy at a company was because they didn’t feel valued.

“The No. 1 thing that makes people feel unappreciated and frustrated is that they just don’t feel heard and seen,” Sabral said. “This is very unfortunate, because when people feel this way, they work less, they do less, and you end up doing more because your people aren’t as ignited as they should be.”

In our first Virtual Workshop of the year, Sabral coached Women in Retail Leadership Circle (WIRLC) and Women Leading Travel & Hospitality members on how to become a more mindful leader. Here are three ways Sabral suggested making your team feel seen and heard:

1. Stop making assumptions.

“Most leaders believe they have all the answers,” Sabral said. “When this happens, we do more talking than listening.”

But leaders don’t need to have all the answers, especially when they’re not asking the right questions or enough questions. Sabral said it’s easy to make assumptions when you’re not asking the right questions or when your team isn’t being honest with you because of your title.

To stop making assumptions, Sabral suggested asking yourself the following questions:

  • Is there anything that could stop me from seeing the real picture?
  • How much fact finding have I done?
  • What has contributed to the problem?
  • Is there anything that could be causing me to elaborate bigger or smaller than it actually is?

“The more aware you are, the more intentional you’ll become on where you spend your time and the actions you’re taking,” Sabral said.

2. Ask for feedback.

Sabral said part of being a more mindful leader is facing reality — especially the reality of how your employees see you. Here are a few questions to ponder if you want employees to open up to you:

  • Am I showing vulnerability with my team?
  • Am I asking curious questions that lower resistance to me?
  • Do I know when feedback is being filtered based on what they think I want to hear?
  • Do I constantly steer the conversation back to my myself?
  • Am I open to someone else’s ideas and not controlling the outcome?
  • Am I taking the time to assess all avenues of the issue?

3. Manage the moment.

Sabral said once we’ve identified the issue in a team conflict scenario, most of us want to jump into action and solve that issue. She challenged the Virtual Workshop attendees to instead get present in the moment. That means not dragging history into it and not thinking about the future.

“Say to yourself, ‘In this moment, who do I need to be?'” advised Sabral. “If I was going to have a difficult conversation, I would step into a way of being in that moment of calm, maybe compassionate, maybe knowledgeable about the situation, maybe patient.”

Here are few questions Sabral recommends asking yourself before stepping into the moment:

  • Am I present?
  • Am I worrying about what might happen next?
  • Am I avoiding a conversation that I need to have and overthinking it?
  • Am I clear on what I’m measuring?
  • Am I attached to the outcome?
  • Am I managing the moment?

Members of Women Leading Travel & Hospitality can watch Sabral’s full workshop on the positive effect of proper framework as well as get access to her exclusive resources here. Not a member? Apply today!