Imagine chasing after your dream job and then actually getting that job.

Incredible, right?

The way the story is supposed to unfold is that you blow it out of the water; your clients, leaders, and colleagues love you; your numbers on every KPI dashboard are unparalleled; you win all sorts of achievement awards; and you get to go on “the Trip”.

But instead, you fail miserably and have no idea that you are getting in your own way — not on purpose, but because you are so amygdala hijacked (even though you don’t know what an amygdala is) that your anxiety permeates your entire world. In addition, your emotional imbalance has a negative impact on the team; you end up feeling isolated.

You know you want to shine. You’ve done it before.  Shit, you’ve crushed it in the past and you don’t understand why you can’t do that rockstar thing you do. What’s wrong with you?

Maybe it’s the culture.

Maybe it’s you.

Maybe it’s both.

People come to work with an invisible resume full of pages of their own stories, narratives, challenges, circumstances, and histories that we know nothing about.

Mine included — being laid up, barely able to walk and in chronic pain for over a year from a collapsed vertebra, a game-changer as an ultra-marathon runner and certainly a game-changer for my state of mind, including that whole amygdala thing.

Welcome to humanity today. With mental health challenges still on the rise, epidemic loneliness, poor engagement scores and the war on talent, this is a snapshot of the workforce today, and while we are making great strides to destigmatize mental health challenges and educating our leaders on EQ, soft skills and wellbeing and DEI, every single person in a culture has a responsibility in the “Ecosystem of Belonging”.

Belonging is an essential human need.

Depression, anxiety, and suicide are common mental health conditions associated with lacking a sense of belonging, according to the Mayo Clinic.

A continuous culture of belonging happens when we foster a safe environment where people can choose their level of authenticity at work.

That authenticity can’t help but include those items on our hidden resume because we are human beings with very real circumstances and very real human emotions.

We are in business to be profitable, but we can’t be profitable without people.

We have to help each other on our journeys and so often we are doing the exact opposite.

When people have a sense of belonging at work, it’s not only good for the culture, it also has a tremendous impact on the customer we serve.

Belonging is critical for organizational success.

It’s the culture.

It’s me.

And it’s you.

Belonging = Safety + Choice

“The Belonging Equation”

As they say, “You can’t eat an elephant”, but it’s the smallest things that make the biggest impact:

  1. Limiting distractions when interacting with a team member such as turning off your phone notifications.
  2. Taking a few minutes to ask non-work-related questions and really listening with your full presence and practicing curiosity.
  3. Ask where the person may be stuck and demonstrate your willingness to help this person get un-stuck as well as your part in the accountability to help this person.
  4. Remembering that every interaction is with another human being.
  5. Be clear and compassionate with your communication. Ambiguous leadership causes fear.
  6. Remember your own humanity and the humanity of others; we are human beings, not humans performing.
  7. Remember, human emotions are not an human resources problem; we all have them and you have the ability to provide a safe space for people to express them.
  8. Educate yourself on the signs of a stressed-out employee.
  9. Arm yourself with resources to provide and direct those you serve and work closely with your HR team.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” –Maya Angelou