How often do we see others and think they have it all together? Like they took some magic course on how to have “the thing” and we missed the sign-up sheet and whisper to ourselves, “I’ll never have it.”

This very thing happened to me the other week as I saw this prominent female speaker make a post on what she accomplished by age 40.

In the moment as I read her words, I ran down a laundry list of all that I haven’t accomplished at age 39 while in the same breath discrediting my own accomplishments and whispering to myself, “I’ll never have that.”

If you’re like me, when the uncomfortable rumbles up, we immediately run from it, back to our lane. Running from those conversations in our head into the thing that gives us validation: the emails, the booze, the shopping, the endless social scrolling.

What if instead of discrediting ourselves, instead of thinking we missed the boat, instead of running to the thing that gives us validation, we changed the narrative in our head to “If they can do it, so can I” and had enough courage to lean into it?

Jealousy can be such a gift if we lean into it with curiosity.

Instead of judging and making up stories on why they achieved the thing and you won’t, reach out and ask how they did it.

Ask yourself, “What about what they accomplished excites you? Who do you know in your tribe that has been on a similar path and can shed light on the journey?”

Community over competition. This is one of the many things I love about the power of vulnerability and sharing our story.

I heard J.Lo (yes, the triple-threat American actress, singer and dancer worth $400 million — that J.Lo) talk about how much she struggled when trying to become an actress. Wondering her worth. Questioning herself. Looking around the room and seeing everyone better than her.

If J.Lo is doubting herself, my friend, you’re not alone with those thoughts in your head questioning yourself.

Hearing J.Lo share her story so vulnerably and beautifully makes me flash to the power of connection. Connection is the common thread of the happiest people in the world.

Not the job title. Not the size jeans. Not the money in the bank account. Connection. It’s what binds us, and isn’t that the first thing that goes when we’re busy?

Networking event. Busy.

Dinner with friends. Tired.

Family event. Emails to catch up on.

Connection is built on one of the hardest things to do: being vulnerable. Before you can be vulnerable with the outside world, you have to be honest with your most trusted advisor, your longest-standing relationship and the person we’re never taught to deal with: ourselves!

Putting down the mask you’ve been taught to hide behind and courageously sharing your story gives others the hope they can do the thing. This knowing that whatever you’re going through, you’re not forging it alone. That someone has been where you’ve been and they’ve made it through the dark wood of the night to the other end.

I invite you, dear reader, to have the courage to share your journey with your most trusted advisor, you, and then have the courage to begin to use your battle wounds to lift up those that are standing before you.

Join me and 45 other female messengers, business leaders and change agents as we share our stories in “Voices of the 21st Century: Women Who Transform The World“. This book will give you the courage to act on those inner gut whispers and transform your view on what is possible.

Here’s to the courage, the toolkit and the community to unlock your own inner truth.